Your sex life can drastically change after pregnancy and having a kid in home. Smart couples support each other through the different phases of raising a child and have sex abundantly, whenever possible. In the following, you will find some solutions for improving your sex life after having kids.
Setting priorities is the key to successful sex life
For giving your children a happy and safe environment to grow up, you and your partner must share a loving and caring relationship. Any tension between the parents directly affects the kids and disrupts their mental peace. Sex is not just a physically gratifying exercise, but it is also a type of communication that couples share. For reducing and eliminating stress from your personal relationships, you should set priorities. If your first priority is your kids then the second or at least third priority has to be your physical intimacy. Set some time aside for adoring, loving and enjoying the presence of your partner. Try to go out together for dinner and watch movies. Hold hands while walking in the evening and talk to each other face to face. Make sure to have family dinners at least thrice every week. All these will cement the gaps in your relationship and make way for better intimacy.
Why is sex lacking?
Miscommunication or lack of communication between partners regarding their waning sex life is a very common problem. In many cases one partner shows interest in having sex but stops expressing desire after being rebuffed by the other partner many times. So, if you are feeling a drop in your sexual desires then try to explain that to your partner. Children are your responsibility but don’t make them an excuse to avoid the necessary conversation about your sex life. Your sex life can deteriorate due to some physical disabilities, the medicines you take, the chronic diseases you have or emotional detachment from your partner. Figure out the actual reasons behind your bad sex life if you want to fix it.
Here are some tips to not let kids put a halt on your sex life.
1. Lock your doors
If your children are too young to understand the meaning of privacy and have a tendency of coming inside without knocking or peeping, then please lock your door at night. Teach your children to knock if they need you or check on them when you get up for using the toilet. Locking the door will give you the mental peace and privacy for having sex without being afraid of getting caught.
2. Share your passions
Life is a onetime opportunity and you need not limit yourself to only the role of being parents. Think about the qualities that made you both like each other in the very beginning. If you talk about children and household problems all the time then there will be no true companionship between you two. Enrol for a new form of dancing classes or go for hiking together. Do anything that gives you an adrenaline rush. This will also increase your desire for your partner. All you have to do is purge the inhibitions and open the flood gates of desires once more. Couples who neglect their sex life after having kids are making a huge mistake. They need to revive the desire by spending tension free moments together. Communicate for solving the emotional crisis and enhance the bonding.
3. Date Your Mate
Once the kid arrives, the couple usually has no time for each other which is in a way not to be ignored. It’s up to you how you manage your schedule to take out time for your partner. Everyone is busy in their life but you have to take out time for the people who matter in your life. Once in a while, plan a date night with your partner when kids are off to sleep or when they are with their grandparents.
This is a special way to show how much you care for each other. Date night here doesn’t mean you have to spend a lot and go for some lavish night out; it’s the small little things like a walk in the park together, a long drive outside the town or a movie night together at home to have some quality and intimate moment. The idea is to have some close moment with your partner which is the key to your relationship. With the time, when your children grow, they will only appreciate the love their parents share with each other and hence this can be a lesson for them in the future.
4. Think outside the box
Remember the time when you both never miss a chance to surprise each other with smallest things. You always miss those moments once your child arrived. Why not recreate that moment and do something exciting for your partner. Smallest thing like throwing a surprise party on her birthday, or giving your husband his favorite gadget as a surprise, you can plan a sudden date night movie or a trip to outstation. Arrange some romantic date for your partner. The small little things keep the relationship alive and provide more love and warmth to both of you. Once in a while when your kids grow up, they also should be taught that their parents are also husband and wife and the relationship is also as important as the duties of mother and father.
5. Take advantage of small moments
There are some moments when you really take advantage of, the little moments. As kids grew up they indulge themselves in various activities and you don’t need to always stick to them wherever they go. See if your kids are playing outside in the garden? Or they are reading into their room or they are at their friend’s home for birthday and parties, utilize that moment to have alone time with husband and wife. You can have some close moments, extra cuddles, or you can be little creative to make those some intimate and memorable moment. This moment can be short but you know better how to make it special as little moments mean a lot especially in this phase of your life.
6. Babysitters are a good investment
Alone time is not only important for the parents but it is also as important for the kids. For this, the playgroup has proved beneficial for the parents. It makes your child learn and play in the environment for some time away from you. It’s in a way helps in their growth and development. Also as parents, you actually get some free time to be with one another and spend private time with the spouse. You can make use of these time and moments. Not only you get a chance to spend some romantic time, but it is also helpful to be yourself and do the other chores which you love. It’s in a way to give your child some free time to have fun with other children and meanwhile, you can utilize most of the time for making it special.
Parenthood is one of the special experiences anyone can have, once you have children, your priority changes and your life revolves around your little one. You hardly get time to spend time together with your partner which is important to maintain a good relationship and keep the spark alive. But how do you find and get the much needed alone time after having kids can help you maintain the rhythm of your sexual relationship.