When it comes to dating, no two words can stir greater trepidation than “blind date.” Nobody ever looks forward to a blind date, most people try to avoid them entirely for obvious reasons. Of course, in those situations when you find yourself in an over-extended dating dry spell, you might become more susceptible to agreeing to go on one.
There is, of course, no shortage of people who eagerly become facilitators for your blind date saga. Everybody has friends and family who with little to no notice can drum up a list of potential suitors who in there calculus would be well suited for you.
Mind you, not every blind date is destined to be a dead-end or a disaster. There are successful relationships that have started off as blind dates. However, if you were to look at dating statistics, you would discover that, especially in the last two decades, not only have the number of blind dates as a percentage of overall dating dropped but also that the expectations that people have of blind dates have decreased as well. Dating sites and online hook up apps definitely played a role in this decline.
Obviously, the current reputation of blind dates is not a good one. So, what should you do if you find yourself in a situation where you will be going out on one?
1) Relax — Avoid Pre-Date Jitters
The idea of meeting a stranger and immediately going out on a first date with them is understandably awkward. After all, both you and your date know very little about each other. The only reason that you are getting together is due to a person whom both of you have in common who thought it would be a good idea. This means that not only will you have the jitters that are normally associated with a first date, but they will be intensified further by the anxiety associated with the unknown.
A good way to relax before going out on a blind date is by adopting a laissez-faire attitude to the whole thing. In other words, don’t apply any expectations to it. Likewise, don’t be negative about it before you even meet the person involved. A sort of passive indifference, if you will.
Prepare as if you were going to go out with a group of friends. This means that you shouldn’t stress out over what you are going to wear, what you are going to say, etc.
Yes, you will look good, you will have a charming demeanor, but you will not be overthinking or overworking the situation. This, in turn, will make you more relaxed not only in preparation for the blind date but also throughout the date itself.
2) Extended Evaluation
What do we mean by an extended evaluation? In the context of a blind date, we are referring to avoiding the “first impression syndrome.” You know, ceding to the first gut feeling that you get from a person the first few seconds that you interact with them on a date.
Normally your gut feeling and first impressions are very reliable metrics to rely upon when it comes to evaluating different circumstances involving dating. However, when it comes to a first date, a slight modification is required.
The person who you will be meeting in all likelihood will be undergoing the same level of doubt, anxiety, and nervousness regarding you and the forthcoming experience. This means that when you first meet them, they may not be at their best. They might appear more awkward than they normally are.
This is why on a blind date you should give the other person greater freedom to demonstrate the sort of person they really are — much more so than on a traditional first date. You should give your date at least the first hour to get their bearings, if possible you should let the whole date play out before rendering your final verdict.
3) Have an Exit Strategy
As important as it is to give your blind date room to demonstrate their worthiness, that does not mean that you should board a potential Titanic without knowing that you have a life vest. Having an exit strategy in case the blind date deteriorates to intolerable levels is always a good idea.
The simplest method is to have a trusted friend on standby to receive an SOS text message from you. Have the message at the ready on your phone so you can casually and undetected send if it becomes necessary. Upon receiving it, your friend should call you so that you may claim an “emergency” has arisen. Maybe your cat got arrested for selling catnip to the neighborhood cats again — we’re certain that you can come up with a credible excuse that can get you out of the date ASAP.
4) Be Pragmatic
If ever there was a time to be pragmatic with regards to the dating scene, it is during a blind date. You must go into a blind date situation with a blank canvas. Allow the other person to paint you a picture of who they really are unaided.
Don’t look at the date through the eyes of the person who introduced you. Don’t concern yourself with what that person might think if things don’t work out. While it may be a tempting crutch for both you and your date to use the person who introduced you as a topic of conversation, this is ill-advised. You should keep the topics neutral. You want to be able to evaluate your date based on practical experiences, not be prejudiced by what your concern for what the person who introduced you might think.
5) No Mercy Follow-Up Dates
If things did not go well on your blind date or if the magic simply wasn’t happening, you should never accept going on a mercy follow-up date with that person. Yes, it can be gut-wrenching to say no to someone; but, if you didn’t feel anything on the first date, it is extremely unlikely that you would feel any differently after a second date.
Even if your friend or family member begs you to give the person another chance, stand fast and don’t cede. Mercy dates in any context are never a good idea.
Blind dates don’t have to be the nightmare scenarios that modern culture makes them out to be. This doesn’t mean that you should aggressively seek them out but when the situation arrives that you are involved in one, you should not dread it either.
Keep an open mind, don’t fret about it, and remain relaxed. If things don’t work out the way you want them to, at least you will have an interesting story to tell. On the other hand, if things do work out, you will forever be happy that you took the blind date “leap.”
Article Submitted By Community Writer