There can be any number of reasons why you ended up in bed with your ex-partner. Perhaps you bumped into each other in a bar, reminisced for a while, then one thing led to another and you went back to their place for old time’s sake. Sometimes this behaviour transcends the occasional rekindling and leads on to more regular liaisons.
People can be readily drawn back into the arms of someone familiar, with the added bonus there are no longer any strings attached. But the bottom line is this: Sleeping with your ex is potentially very detrimental to your chances of finding true happiness with someone far more suitable.
Holding onto the past
There seems little point continually raking over the past if your sole incentive is to snatch a few moments of sexual gratification. You are running the risk of hampering your chances of future success if you are always looking backward. It might seem as if casual sex with a former partner won’t do you any harm, but it will. In the first instance, you are taking each other for granted. Not only is this going to impinge on your own chances of achieving a contented partnership with someone else, you are also going to be continually holding back your ex.
There are also deeper self-esteem issues. The may be many reasons why the original relationship hit the rocks. If you keep on going back for stolen moments of passion, you are damaging your confidence in your ability to connect with a meaningful new relationship.
When any partnership runs its course, it rarely concludes with a clean break and mutual acceptance. Invariably, one person does the actual dumping. If you are the one who is drawn to pestering your ex-partner with sext messages, hoping for a brief reunion, you are only setting yourself up for an even further corrosion of your dignity every time you crawl back to someone who has already let it be known you are not good enough for them.
Sex should be passionate
In any fulfilling relationship, sexual encounters should be spontaneous, or it should be an expression of the sense of chemistry between the partners. In these circumstances, the emotional depths running in parallel with the intimacy will always ensure memorable encounters. But sex with someone where there are no longer feelings is very much a case of going through the motions.
It’s no coincidence these encounters are often fuelled by alcohol, making the experience even less personal for the parties involved. Having sex with someone who previously cast you adrift is to embark on a pointless journey. What makes this worse is that, deep down, you both realize this.
A more positive way forward
The aftermath of these booty calls is often embarrassment and recrimination. In any normal relationship, a wonderful moment of intimacy is invariably followed by tender caresses and the whispering of sweet nothings. But when you sleep with your ex, the conclusion of events is far more likely to be marked by how quickly you both get dressed again.
A lot of the excuses people will give for drifting back to old flames is down to restlessness. If you’ve ever felt compelled to dig out that address book, here’s another suggestion. Did you know it’s a very straightforward task to monetize your social media channels so that instead of dwelling on sex yourself, you encourage acquaintances to sign up to dating sites? You could even earn a bit of commission, and adult niche affiliate marketing can be extremely lucrative. That’s definitely something to think about, rather than impersonal contact with someone who consigned you to history long ago.
Article Submitted By Community Writer