Two steps at a time and you will crash. There are things that need to be done in a certain way, a process that needs to be followed. First and foremost, ensure that you have crossed the stalking phase. If you are having sex with a new partner, you need to ensure that you are over your past. Thus, take one baby step after another and soon you will get to a point wherein you will be able to renew your sex life and claim your individuality. Just make sure that you are taking things slow. From rom-coms to romantic novels, the process has often been illustrated and while it might look easy-peasy, it is no joke.
Do not Disclose anything to your new partner just yet
You are simply having sex with a new partner, do you really need to share all the history? Unless you reach a stage wherein you are about to get married, the past does not matter. Try to go out there and enjoy with a fresh state of mind. Erase the name of your ex from your mental state before you indulge in a sexual journey. Do not bring him or her up unless absolutely necessary or if your are put in a spot. Dates are meant to be fun and confusing in a beautifully unravelling manner. Dates are not meant to be a talk about your past partners.
Think of it as a New Journey
You are having casual sex with a new partner and you do not know what it might entail. Treat it like that. Go on this sexual journey with a fresh state of mind. Do not bring your past into it. This could be a one time thing or it could lead to a beautiful future; either way, you need to enjoy the present moment. Take the plunge, have sex, enjoy yourself, have a blast and before you know it, you are over your troublesome past. Moreover, the last thing you want to do with a new partner is to share your romantic history. Do not get into it, its best if you don’t get a chance to think about it because that means you had a good time.
Brush it under the carpet?
No! not quite yet. It was an important part of your life and you do not need to go above and beyond to hide it. If it comes up on its own, don’t get down into details and definitely do not bring it up on your own. Just act according to the situation. Remember that both of you are here to have sex and not to talk about your past. However, if the two of you connect over each other’s past, then you need to make a different choice. All you need to do is remember that right now it is about nothing but having casual sex post a serious breakup.
The more you Mull over it, the more Damage it will do
Do not indulge the feeling. Yes, it is easier said than done but no one wants to be stuck in a past relationship forever. Therefore, make an effort to get out of it. It is not easy but try and ignore the feeling, try to distract yourself with hobbies. Starting a new sex life will also happen in its own time. Do not look for a spouse in your sexual partner. Both of you are just here to have fun and have fun is just what you need to do. Maybe a few casual encounters later, you can think about dating seriously. Right now, enjoy the excitement and butterflies that casual sex brings with itself.
Follow the steps mentioned above and you will breeze through your breakup like a pro. This is not a foolproof formula but it is worth a try. Soon you will get to a point where you will be dating potential long term partners and not having casual sex for the heck of it. If the topic of the past comes up, do not make up lies, instead, just keep your answer brief and limited to whatever is necessary. This way, you are not keeping a secret but you are also not letting your past get in the way of the present.